Infertility Statistics and Thoughts

When I read this I found it very helpful, and I thought this would bring encouragement to those of you struggling with infertility, and be helpful and informative to those of you who may have a friend or family member experiencing infertility. This was taken from a friend's blog who battled the journey of infertility, and has been a great resource to me.

If you are struggling with infertility or loss, I can guarantee you are NOT alone. Here are the facts:

-More than 5 million people of child bearing age in the U.S. experience infertility. In about 35% of the cases it is related to a female problem, and another 35% is related to a male factor. In 20% it is a combined male and female problem and in about 10% of the cases it is unexplained.

-1 in 5 women will experience a miscarriage...that's a 15-20% in each pregnancy. Miscarriage is usually the result of chromosomal abnormalities not as a result of something the mom did such as lifting something too heavy or drinking a cup of coffee.

Here is a universal list that infertile couples agree on as a list of dos and don'ts that will help you support them during their difficult time (taken from RESOLVE)...

Don't try to minimize the problem by saying, "Just try to relax and don't worry." Stress does not cause infertility, infertility causes the stress and many couples who cannot get pregnant have very valid reasons that they cannot conceive.

Do listen to what the couple has to say about their experience and express empathy for their difficulties.

Don't tell a couple who has had a miscarriage that it wasn't meant to be or that you know that they will be pregnant again soon and it will work the next time.

Do realize that the couple has just lost a specific potential child who will never come again, no matter how wonderful the next pregnancy may be. Acknowledge how sad they must feel.

Don't give medical advice or doctor referrals without being asked or hearing the couple say they are looking for new information or referrals.

Do tell the couple that you'll be happy to listen to any details they want to share with you and that you are thinking about and praying for them.

Don't offer unsolicited stories about others who have been successful at treatment or adoption...sometimes this is helpful, but more than likely they have heard something like it many times.

Do tell them if they are ever interested you could put them in touch with a couple willing to talk about their infertility experience or adoption process. Let them decide whether they want to pursue that information. You can even give them websites like this if they want to check it out.

Don't tell a couple who is in the process of adopting, "I bet you will get pregnant now!" Do tell them how excited you are for them that they are going to be parents through adoption!

RESOURCES:

www.babycenter.com - a great website with lots of online bulletin boards related to anything and everything

www.resolve.org - RESOLVE is the National Infertility Association and has lots of great resources and info on local chapters with support groups

http://www.bethany.org/step/ - A ministry of Bethany Christian Services providing Christian support for couples facing infertility and/or pregnancy loss

-Shattered Dreams by Larry Crab

-The Cry of the Soul by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman

-When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden by Sandra Glahn and William Cutrer, M.D

-Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy by Pam Vredevelt.  

Entrusted to Me

It has been quite some time since I last gave an update on my fertility process, and I wanted each of you to know what I am experiencing. Last Monday I went for another blood test, and found out the next day that after a second round of clomid, and a higher milligram dosage, I still did not ovulate. In fact, my progesterone level was 1.4 which is extremely low. I was definitely quite bummed when the doctor called with this news. He wanted to increase my dosage again, but after talking with several friends who have experienced infertility, and discussing things with my mom, I decided to call a specialist in Memphis. I just knew it would probably be after the new year before I could get in with one, but it turns out they had a cancellation, and my appointment is tomorrow morning. I took that as a sign from the Lord, and told her I would gladly take the appointment. After booking the appointment, I ordered three books from Amazon, and I will definitely share my opinion about each for those of you who may also be experiencing difficulties in conceiving. Now, that you know where I am physically in the process, I will fill you in on the emotional side. On Wednesday night, I attended bible study through my church. We are going through  "Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A Study of David" by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur. The Lord is definitely using this study in my life in tremendous ways, but I believe Week Three, Day Five was written specifically for me. Beth Moore begins the lesson by telling a story of a couple who is experiencing infertility and really wrestling with the Lord. The words that follow pretty much screamed off the page at me:

"God is the Author of life, not man nor science. Indeed Jeremiah 1:5 says, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.' The psalmist responded to a strikingly similar God-given revelation with these words: 

"Certainly you made my mind and heart; you wove me together in my mother's womb. I will give you thanks because your deeds are awesome and amazing. You knew me thoroughly; my bones were not hided from you, when I was made in secret and sewed together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was inside the womb. All the days ordained for me were recorded on your scroll before one of them came into existence. How difficult it is for me to fathom your thoughts about me, O God! How vast is their sum total!"    Psalm 139:13-17

We desperately need reminders like these especially when something horrible has happened. We've got to know we're cherished and have been since--take time for wonder--before we were conceived. We were planned by someone who pondered the panoramic canvas of our entire lives, in living color, dimension, and texture, with joy as if it had already been well lived. We were assigned purpose and placed within a God-created system where no pain can come to us unless it serves that exact purpose. We need to know that the events we find so baffling don't mean God has forgotten about us or forsaken us. Perhaps, if we'd stretch our hearts and minds to perceive it, He has instead trusted us."

These words spoke so much to my heart that I just sat and wept for quite some time. I needed to hear these truths, and be reminded that I am cherished, and have been since before I was born, and that God has not forgotten about me or forsaken me! He has TRUSTED me! Shortly after I began this journey, I remember calling my sister one day, and as I cried to her, she said, "Amy, the Lord would not have brought you down this road if He didn't think you could handle it. He has entrusted this to you." What powerful words from Beth and my sister. But even with all these great truths, my heart is definitely still heavy, and last night I found myself crying out to the Lord, "WHY ME?....couldn't you have chose somebody else!" Even in my weakest moment, the Savior completely understands my heart.  When Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane awaiting death on the cross, he prays, "Abba Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." (Mark 14:36)               

C.J. Mahaney writes in "Living the Cross Centered Life", "We hear Him cry out: Father--is there an alternative? Is there any way to avoid this? If there's a way this cup could pass from Me, would You please provide that to Me?...But the obedient Son's plea to His loving Father is met with silence. Why? Listen to this verse again for the very first time: For God so loved the world...that He is silent to His Son's agonizing appeal." In our Savior's darkest hour, He cried out to the Lord for an alternative, just as I was crying out to Him last night, "please Lord...let this cup pass over me." But because of His amazing love for us, we see Him repeat to the Father: "Yet not what I will, but what you will." You see "we do not have a great high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." O Sovereign Lord, I boldly approach your throne with confidence, and ask that you would indeed grant me mercy in this time of need. I need thee every hour, and I pray not my will be done, but what you will. 

When In Rome, or When in Oxford?

Two weeks ago, we had a 12th generation Roman come visit Oxford. We met Davide last Spring Break when we traveled to Rome with Campus Crusade. Davide actually became a Christian through Isaac (my boss) sharing the gospel with him while walking through St. Paul's Cathedral in Rome. When we left Davide promised that he would come visit us in Oxford, and he did just that. It was a joy to have Davide visit, and he was able to share his story of how he came to faith in Christ with over 1,000 students between our weekly meeting and pledge bible studies. I think one of the highlights of the trip for Davide was attending a college football game. He had never been to an American football game, and I could not think of a better person to have a first time experience with than my dear husband. They had a blast together, and by the end of the game Davide was leading cheers in the student section. Davide also cooked up 5 lbs. of carbonara pasta for the Grove that was delicious! We thoroughly enjoyed having Davide visit, and it was a blessing for him to experience true Christian fellowship. We were definitely sad to see him go, but we will be able to spend time with him when we go to Rome in March. When I asked Davide if he would come back to visit he said, "Someday....why not?".  Please pray for Davide, and that his love for the Savior would continue to grow, and that he would share his faith with other Italians.

Davide at his going away party

Kyle, Davide, and Me

"We love you Davide"

Davide and The Guys

Davide and The Ladies....what Italian doesn't 

love Ole Miss girls!

Christie, Zach, Me

Tamara, Davide, Me...that is his favorite smile!

Davide after ten days in Oxford....simply exhausted!

Corn Bread Bites

These muffins are incredibly delicious and will greatly accompany any soup . In fact, I could sit down with the whole pan they are so good! Bon appetit!

This recipe also makes a dozen muffins in a standard muffin tin; bake 17 minutes or until golden brown. You also can double the recipe and freeze the extra muffins for up to one month. If you do this, prepare the muffins in two batches so the baking powder doesn't lose its effectiveness while the extra batter waits for the first batch to be turned out of the pans.

Yield: 12 servings (serving size: 3 muffins)

Ingredients

• 2/3  cup  all-purpose flour (about 3 ounces)
• 1/2  cup  yellow cornmeal
• 1  tablespoon  sugar
• 1 1/2  teaspoons  baking powder
• 1/4  teaspoon  salt
• 1/2  cup  (2 ounces) shredded sharp cheddar cheese
• 1/2  cup  reduced-fat sour cream
• 1/4  cup  thinly sliced green onions
• 1  (8 3/4-ounce) can cream-style corn
• Dash of hot sauce
• 1  large egg, lightly beaten
• Cooking spray
• 
  
• Preparation

Preheat oven to 375°.

Lightly spoon the flour into dry measuring cups; level with a knife. Combine flour and next 4 ingredients (through salt) in a large bowl. Combine cheese and remaining ingredients except cooking spray in a small bowl; stir with a whisk. Add to flour mixture; stir just until moistened.

Divide batter evenly among miniature muffin cups coated with cooking spray. Bake at 375° for 10 minutes or until golden brown. Cool in cups 2 minutes on wire racks; remove from pans. Cool completely on wire racks.

White Bean Chili

Another one of my favorite things about the fall is bringing out my stockpot! I love coming home after a long day, and sitting down to a warm bowl of soup. I also love the way it makes your house smell! Yummy! This is one of my favorite soup recipes. It is hearty enough for a man, but filled with lots of spices for the ladies! It is truly a great combination! Hope you enjoy a bowl!

Ingredients:

2-3 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, sliced into strips (I used a rotisserie chicken)

2 tablespoons oil

1 medium onion, chopped

1/4 cup chopped celery (optional)

1 clove garlic, minced

2 (14.5 oz) cans chicken broth

2 (14.5 oz) cans diced tomatoes, undrained 

2 (4.5 oz) cans chopped green chiles  (I used one can tomatoes, one can of Rotel with green chiles, and one can of green chiles)

1/4 cup lime juice

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1 teaspoon dried cilantro

1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper

2 (15.8 oz) cans great Northern beans, undrained

1 1/2 cups frozen white shoepeg corn (I had to use canned)

Shredded Monterrey Jack cheese, for garnish

Sour cream, for garnish

Chopped green onions, for garnish

Fresh cilantro, for garnish

Directions:

In a skillet, saute chicken strips in oil until lightly browned. Let cool and cut into small chunks. In the same skillet, saute onion, celery, and garlic until soft. Transfer sauteed vegetables to a stockpot. Stir in chicken broth, tomatoes, green chiles, lime juice, cumin, oregano, cilantro, cayenne pepper, beans, and corn. Bring to a boil and add chicken. Reduce heat to low, simmer until ready to serve. Top with your choice of garnishes.

8 to 10 servings

Are You Ready?

My past three weekends have revolved around one thing: Ole Miss Football! I thought I would use this post to increase your knowledge of a well-known tradition at Ole Miss. I may not know much about the game of football, but I do know all the cheers! Are You Ready? This question is asked before every Ole Miss game begins, and the crowd responds with this: 

Hell yes! Damn Right!

Hotty Toddy, Gosh almighty

Who in the hell are we - Hey

Flim Flam, Bim Bam

Ole Miss By Damn! 

This is known to all Ole Miss fans as Hotty Toddy! I think it is simply the best school cheer in college sports. "Hotty Toddy" can be heard in the Grove and at any football game, whether on the road or at home in Vaught-Hemingway stadium. I have been singing Hotty Toddy for the past three weekends, and I hope to be singing it all the way to Atlanta this year! We have an Italian friend visiting us, and he even cheered on the Rebs this weekend with a Hotty Toddy! At first he said, "flish flash, boom boom", but he eventually got it right! Here are a few pictures from the 2009 season thus far. Hotty Toddy to you! 

Callie, Me, Chelsea, Christie, and Kristen grovin' at Vandy

The Hostesses & Corrie at her Baby Shower

Christie, Me, and Callie

The band playing before the Alabama game

Davide, Kyle, and Thomas

Me, and Carmen Rae, Miss Ole Miss

Kyle and Me

Kyle, Davide, and Me

Got to love an Italian wearing an Ole Miss

landshark hat!

Emily, Hallie, Me, Christie, 

Callie, Chelsea, and Missy

Family: Kyle, Whitney, and Will

Pumpkin Pie Spice Muffins

Since I mentioned this as one of my fall favorites, here is the recipe! My sister shared this one with me a few years ago, and it has become a favorite for many!

Ingredients:

1 and 2/3 cup flour

1 cup sugar

1 Tbsp. pumpkin pie spice

1 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp. salt

1 tsp. baking powder

2 large eggs

1 cup plain pumpkin

1/2 cup butter melted

1 cup white chocolate chips

1 cup thinly sliced Granny Smith apples

Directions:

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Mix flour, sugar, spice, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. In another bowl, whisk eggs, pumpkin, and butter until well blended. Add egg mixture to flour mixture. Stir in chocolate chips, and fold in apples. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes. 

Fall Favorites

A few years ago, I decided that I am not a person that has a favorite season. On all of my personality tests, I test as a person that likes high change. Therefore, I like all the seasons, because I like when it changes from one to the other. I do love fall though, and thought I would share with you a few of my favorite things about the fall!

1. Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks (if you have never tried this you must!

2. SEC Football...Hotty Toddy!

3. The MS State Fair...although I have not been in a few years, this is a pastime favorite.

4. Pumpkins and Gourds, especially white pumpkins

5. The leaves changing color

6. Halloween...what girl doesn't love all the chocolate candy?!?!

7. Mums in bloom

8. Pumpkin Pie Spice Muffins

9. Turning on the fireplace, and making s'mores.

10. For the fashion divas, breaking out the boots and jackets!

St. Peter's Episcopal Church

Oxford, MS

Lost but Found

Isn't that the cutest face you have ever seen? That is my precious chocolate lab Emmy! She is my heart, and three weekends ago she went missing for a while. Kyle and I were in Nashville at our Fall Retreat with Crusade, and Emmy was staying in Oxford with a friend. We got a phone call around 2 in the morning, and our dear friend Zach told us that Emmy and Miley (his dog) were missing. He had let them out to go to the restroom, and a few minutes later they were gone. Of course, I quickly became hysterical, and felt pretty helpless considering I was four hours away. After they had been searching for an hour or so, I decided to google "what to do when your dog is missing." It said to call the police station and report it, so that is what I did. Through my tears, I started to tell the policeman what had happened, and what Emmy looked like, and he said, "Mam, your dog has already been found." I could not believe it! The policeman gave my the guy's number, and I immediately called him. He loved our dogs so much that he volunteered to keep them over night! Zach went to pick Emmy up, and I told him you better guard that dog with your life until I get back to Oxford! I think he understood! :) I had woken my mom and sister, and they had been praying for my Emmy Lou to be found. We were all so upset. Although she is a dog, she is pretty much like our child. If you ever meet her, you will understand why. She is the sweetest dog, and so full of personality. When I called my mom and sister to tell them she was found, my sister said, "I think that is just the mercy of the Lord." I really believe this too, because we have been through one trial after another lately, and this is just one that I could not bear. I think the Lord knew that as well. When I was sharing this story with a friend, she said, "Amy, that so relates to the parable of the lost sheep." I began to think about this, and once again I was ever so grateful for the Lord's pursuit of my heart, and for the redemption I have found through Jesus Christ. Just as I would have searched for hours or even days, until Emmy was found, the Lord relentlessly pursues those who are lost too. The parable states, "What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep, and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?....I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine who need no repentance." Isaiah 53:6 says, "All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way, but the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him." I am so thankful that as I sit here and type, my sweet Emmy is laying beside me, but I am immensely grateful that the Lord found me. I once was "like a sheep without a shepherd", but now I have been found! 

I'm Back...

My oh my! Where do I even begin? I cannot believe I have been absent from the blogging world this long! My goodness! The fall semester seems to always be incredibly busy for us! We do count it as a huge blessing that we have so much going on within our ministry, and so many students to follow up, but it does not allow much time for leisurely things (blogging). Especially when the weekends are centered around football, it is Monday morning again before I even realize it! I am excited to be back though, and catch you up on all the whereabouts of The Coles! I want to start off with a delightful recipe I recently discovered! I love the pesto at William Sonoma, and the last time I purchased a jar, the lovely woman that checked me out shared this recipe with me. I am typically not one of those people that can whip up a dish without a detailed list of instructions. So, I must say I was pretty proud of this one! It happens to have no name, so we can call it Salmon Pesto Pastry.

Ingredients:

2 Salmon Filets

1 puff pastry sheet (cut in half)

Pesto sauce

1 tomato

Slivered Almonds

Olive Oil

Pepper

Directions:

1. Bake salmon and puff pastry on a baking sheet at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes. (They will cook evenly, but I left my salmon in a little bit longer.)

2.  Spread pesto over puff pastry. Place tomatoes and almonds on top of pesto. Drizzle olive oil over the top and sprinkle a dash of pepper.

And that is it ladies! Kyle is not a huge fan of salmon, but he loved this dish! I hope to make it again soon in an effort to incorporate more fish into our diet. I am sure it was be tasty with other types of fish too. Enjoy!