What's Best For Us

For two weeks now I have been meaning to post an update on the decision I made in regards to nursing Hardy. I had my final lactation consultant appointment about two weeks ago and going into the appointment I was quite thrilled because Hardy had nursed well for several consecutive feedings. Although he was latching on improperly, he was still nursing. At my appointment the consultant was rather baffled. She worked with us for over an hour, and she could not get him to latch on correctly. He was not thrusting his tongue properly. Her final suggestion to us was to make an appointment with a lady in Madison. At this point I felt like I had been on a roller coaster. One moment things were looking up, and then the next minute they were down and we were back where we started. This was a Thursday, so I decided to take the weekend and process before I made a decision. By Monday, I was rather weary from all my emotions and I told Kyle I could not face another day without a plan. I just needed to make a decision and be able to move forward. So much of me felt like I needed to persevere in nursing and that I was a failure if I did not continue to try. But on the other hand, I felt that I was not truly enjoying Hardy because so much of my attention was focused on nursing. I came across a website that asked three questions in regards to nursing. It said if you can answer yes to all three of these questions then you have definitely given nursing your best effort and I certainly had. On Monday, I made the decision to exclusively pump. I truly feel that breast milk is the best for Hardy and this seems to be my best option. I had no clue at the time that there are many mothers who exclusively pump, and there is tons of information out there about it. My goal is to pump for three months, but given my strong will I think I may be able to make it to 6 months. I have a great supply and already have a shelf stocked in our freezer. Hopefully when I do quit, Hardy will still be able to continue on my milk for several months with what I have frozen. This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made and I wavered on what would be best, but I can now say that this was the best decision for us. I am doing ten times better emotionally, and I am thoroughly enjoying my precious baby boy. Exclusively pumping is definitely not for the faint of heart though. I currently pump 8 times a day in addition to feeding him, and in between that I am constantly at the sink rinsing bottles and all the parts that are required to pump. Some days this is exhausting and I often feel like I have not accomplished anything all day. However, at this point my most important priority is to take care of Hardy and I am that involves feeding him. So, if that is all I get done for the day, I have still accomplished what is of utmost importance. I would like to say thanks to many of you who have sent me messages, offered great advice, and prayed for me. I truly appreciate each of you and the encouragement you have given me in regards to being a mommy. I am grateful for you and I would gladly receive any other advice you may have to offer. Finally, the decision has been made and I can say with great confidence it was the best one for us.

The following was taken from the website www.exclusivelypumping.com. I found some of these tidbits very encouraging and humorous at the same time. I am sure some of you can relate. Hope a few of you get a good laugh!

Here are several snippets of advice to moms who want to pump exclusively:

1. Know that you are blessed among women. The courage, stamina, and dedication it takes to exclusively pump are saint-worthy.

2. Know that every time you feel exhausted, cheated, angry, sad, frustrated, bored, or start hearing your pump talk to you in the middle of the night — you are not alone. And it is all normal. I don’t know how many times I’ve decided to “just let my milk dry up” — and just as I decide to do that, it flows into those two bottles like ambrosia… The sheer physical and emotional energy it takes to pump exclusively require a special kind of inner fortitude. I have learned a lot about my inner resources through this experience. It is not for the feint of heart. You are a warrior-woman.

3. Know that if you do indeed give up, you are NOT a failure. The fact that we even pump as long as we do is a sign of our motherlove. Whether it’s 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years, you are doing the best thing for your child. Banish all thoughts of failure from your head (because they will be there, trust me).

4. Know that the key to supply is three fold: a regular pumping schedule, enough rest, and plenty of nourishment. These three things, plus the belief (I guess you could call it faith) that you CAN DO THIS is all you need to keep producing milk. (Fenugreek worked for me too, but watch for gassiness and tummy upset in you and baby after prolonged use).

5. Know that part of this experience means sacrifice: of your ideas about being able to breastfeed, about your time, about your autonomy as an adult, about being the one to directly feed your baby. But you can choose to see yourself as enslaved by your pump…or liberated by the inner journey it affords you (and the incredible sense of accomplishment, against the odds, when you succeed.) And know that helping hands — from a partner, husband, grandma, friend — are welcome. Weigh the sadness of not being able to cradle you baby as he feeds against the fact that because your husband is feeding him your milk at night, you can pump MORE milk for him.

6. Know that people might ask funny questions, or judge you, or not understand why cannot answer the phone right now…or you cannot come out of the public toilet stall right now…but keep your inner compass steady. You are doing this because you believe it is the best thing for your beloved child. So frankly, screw anyone who thinks otherwise! And let them wait — no phone call of angry toilet patron should force you to put aside this vital task. It is vital to your baby…and so it is more important than anything else!

7. Know that there is a sisterhood of women who exclusively pump, and share the knowledge with others around you. We are brave, bold, bitchin’ mamas and we should sing our praises wherever we can.

Strength to you as you listen to the swishing gurgles of milk splashing (or dribbling) into bottles — and as you watch your little one drink down your milk and grow round and fat and pink and gorgeous…