Just Like Old Times

The cute girl pictured above is Katie Crosby, and she is my heart! I discipled Katie for four years during her time at Ole Miss, and I truly treasure my relationship with her. I cried when she graduated college, and I cried again when she left for a two-year overseas mission trip. Katie came home a few months ago, and I had the pleasure of having breakfast with her on Sunday morning. It was so great to see her, and it was just like old times. One of the things I have always valued about my relationship with Katie is her openness. Our conversation is always so honest and real, and I love that! During our time together she asked me, "what was the biggest thing the Lord taught you while walking through infertility?" I had not thought of this in a while, and as I continued to ponder upon this question throughout the morning, I was very thankful she asked.

One of the biggest things the Lord taught me was PATIENCE. It is so cliche to say "God's timing is perfect", and honestly it really bothered me when people would say that to me. However, it is very true. I believe the Lord brought us to a point where we were totally surrendered to His will no matter the outcome, and that is when He chose to bless us with a child. He knew exactly what we could handle, and He took us to that point. It is also perfect timing in the sense that our sweet little one is coming in June, so we will have the summer to adjust to being parents before the fall semester begins.

Another thing the Lord taught me that was huge is that He is SOVEREIGN, and He has my best interest in mind at all times. This realization was not easy to swallow, and something I processed for several months. Walking through infertility was the hardest trial I have been through in my life thus far, and at times it was very painful. However, despite what I was feeling, the Lord is still good and He does good. What He has been working out in my life over the past 18 months was exactly what was purposed for me, and furthermore what He continues to do in my life over the next 50 years it exactly what was purposed for me. His will for my life will not be thwarted, and I must continue to trust that even when I am not getting what I want or what I think is best. I praise Him for this storm He has brought us through because it drew us closer to Him and we learned countless lessons.

The last thing I shared with Katie was that I saw very clearly the depravity of my heart. My sin was right before my face very often. Every time I heard of someone being pregnant or a friend shared with me that she was pregnant, I was so jealous in my heart. Of course, I was excited for her, but I always thought why her and not me. It was so hard to not become bitter, or be angry with the Lord. I definitely went through periods of frustration. The Lord continuously showed me how sinful my heart is, and my deep need for a Savior.

I share these things with you because I know that I have readers that are probably processing through some of the same things. I pray that your heart will be open, that you will trust the Lord, and that you will allow Him to work out your salvation while you walk through this trial. Thank you Katie for asking this question and for always pointing me towards the cross!