"Like Apples of Gold"

In light of our anniversary, I thought I would share something that the Lord has been teaching me recently about marriage. In January, I began reading "A Wife After God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George. It is a great book for those beginning marriage and one that I will highly recommend to others. One of the most impressionable chapters thus far was "Learning to Communicate." In this chapter Elizabeth shares several verses from the Word that should be our guidelines for communication in marriage. Proverbs 25:11 paints the word picture of good communication: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Elizabeth says, "Dear wife, this kind of beauty should be the goal for all your communication, but especially with the person most important and closet to you--your husband." So here are several of God's keys to godly speech. Your words are to be...

...SOFT: "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). The words we choose to use have an effect on the hearer. Harsh, loud, caustic speech leads to arguments and quarrels, while soft gentle words bring about peace. And here's another fact: "A soft tongue can break hard bones" (Proverbs 25:15).

...SWEET: "Sweetness of the lips increases learning" or influence (Proverbs 16:21). Do you want to get your point across? Then realize that "pleasant words promote instruction" and understanding.

...SUITABLE: "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones" (Proverbs 16:24). Kind sweet words have a medicinal effect on both body and soul.

...SCANT: "In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise" (Proverbs 10:19). The more you talk, the more you are sure to sin! Another Bible translation is very vivid and down-to-earth in its language: "Don't talk so much. You keep putting your foot in your mouth. Be sensible and turn off the flow!" As someone put it, "Sometimes the most skillful use of the tongue is keeping it still."

...SLOW: "Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1:19). In even fewer words, make it your aim to "listen much, speak little, and not become angry!" Why? Because "the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." No good ever comes from sinful anger.

Wow! These guidelines in scripture spoke volume to me! It really made me begin to think harder about the words I speak because they have so much effect on the hearer. I also realized that sometimes I just need to shut up and not speak! :) I think the best way to start practicing these instructions is to memorize the verses. Then, when we are communicating with our husbands we can practice what we have learned. I pray that this challenges your communication as much as it has mine! Elizabeth says, "Do you want your speech to be like apple of gold in settings of silver? Then learn to speak with godly wisdom when you communicate with your husband. Choose words that are soft, sweet, suitable, and by all means, scant."