Thursday, October 29, 2009

Infertility Statistics and Thoughts

When I read this I found it very helpful, and I thought this would bring encouragement to those of you struggling with infertility, and be helpful and informative to those of you who may have a friend or family member experiencing infertility. This was taken from a friend's blog who battled the journey of infertility, and has been a great resource to me.

If you are struggling with infertility or loss, I can guarantee you are NOT alone. Here are the facts:

-More than 5 million people of child bearing age in the U.S. experience infertility. In about 35% of the cases it is related to a female problem, and another 35% is related to a male factor. In 20% it is a combined male and female problem and in about 10% of the cases it is unexplained.

-1 in 5 women will experience a miscarriage...that's a 15-20% in each pregnancy. Miscarriage is usually the result of chromosomal abnormalities not as a result of something the mom did such as lifting something too heavy or drinking a cup of coffee.

Here is a universal list that infertile couples agree on as a list of dos and don'ts that will help you support them during their difficult time (taken from RESOLVE)...

Don't try to minimize the problem by saying, "Just try to relax and don't worry." Stress does not cause infertility, infertility causes the stress and many couples who cannot get pregnant have very valid reasons that they cannot conceive.

Do listen to what the couple has to say about their experience and express empathy for their difficulties.

Don't tell a couple who has had a miscarriage that it wasn't meant to be or that you know that they will be pregnant again soon and it will work the next time.

Do realize that the couple has just lost a specific potential child who will never come again, no matter how wonderful the next pregnancy may be. Acknowledge how sad they must feel.

Don't give medical advice or doctor referrals without being asked or hearing the couple say they are looking for new information or referrals.

Do tell the couple that you'll be happy to listen to any details they want to share with you and that you are thinking about and praying for them.

Don't offer unsolicited stories about others who have been successful at treatment or adoption...sometimes this is helpful, but more than likely they have heard something like it many times.

Do tell them if they are ever interested you could put them in touch with a couple willing to talk about their infertility experience or adoption process. Let them decide whether they want to pursue that information. You can even give them websites like this if they want to check it out.

Don't tell a couple who is in the process of adopting, "I bet you will get pregnant now!" Do tell them how excited you are for them that they are going to be parents through adoption!

RESOURCES: - a great website with lots of online bulletin boards related to anything and everything - RESOLVE is the National Infertility Association and has lots of great resources and info on local chapters with support groups - A ministry of Bethany Christian Services providing Christian support for couples facing infertility and/or pregnancy loss

-Shattered Dreams by Larry Crab

-The Cry of the Soul by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman

-When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden by Sandra Glahn and William Cutrer, M.D

-Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy by Pam Vredevelt 

1 comment:

  1. Amy,
    I have been, and will continue to, pray for you!