He IS so GOOD to Me

What a week it has been in the Cole house! As most of you know, for about a year now Kyle and I have been trying to conceive a child, and a few weeks ago, we had our first official procedure done. Well Monday was the first day that I could take a pregnancy test. All Sunday evening I debated on whether or not I would take one, because I knew I was getting blood work done on Thursday. Monday morning the suspense was getting the best of me, so I decided to go ahead, and take a test. It was very faint, but looked positive. I called the doctor's office, and they suggested I go ahead and come in for blood work on Tuesday. That night I took another test, and it was still faint, but darker. My friend Ellen even came over to look at it, and even she thought I was pregnant. Tuesday morning before I drove to Memphis, I used a digital pregnancy test, and it said pregnant. I was certainly excited, but not really for certain until I received my blood work results. I was pretty much stunned, because we just knew it would take several rounds to get pregnant, and this was the first round. Well, the doctor called me on Tuesday afternoon, and confirmed that I was pregnant. I was shocked, and elated. We had a full day of celebration, and it was so fun to see the pure joy expressed by so many. Kyle's mother and sister happen to be in town, and so we were able to celebrate with them as well. I know that we have already seen a miracle take place just in the fact that I was able to get pregnant. We went to bed that night "on cloud nine"! The very next day brought us something different. I had breakfast with a student, and when I got home I began having some heavy spotting. I immediately called the doctor, and they definitely were concerned because it was bright red (sorry for the graphic detail, but this is the best way to describe our situation). You can imagine the emotion we were experiencing. I have never experienced such extreme joy one day, and then the very next day been brought to the depths of sadness. It is the most vast array of emotions I have ever experienced in two days. But even amidst the sadness, I could feel the presence of the Lord, and He displayed His compassion to us (especially through His children) that day in a way that I have never experienced in the years I have been a believer. Even though this day had brought much grief, I still could say, "I know that the Lord is good, and He intends good for us, and this is part of His sovereign plan for us." The Lord kept laying upon my heart Isaiah 55:8 which says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, declares the Lord." We may never fully understand His plan for us, because His ways are certainly not our ways, but I trust whatever He has planned is good. Thursday morning I went back to the doctor for more blood work. They are monitoring my HCG levels. In the early weeks of pregnancy, HCG levels are suppose to double every 48 to 72 hours. On Tuesday my HCG level was 111, and on Thursday it was 150. It is positive that in increased, but it was only by 35%. This could mean several things, but the doctor's main concern is that it is an impending miscarriage, or it could be signs of an ectopic pregnancy, or everything could be completely fine. We called many friends and family members, and asked them to begin praying that the Lord would sustain the babies life, and that by Saturday my levels would have doubled. You can only imagine how hard it is to sit around and wait another two days for results, but it appears I might be doing lots of waiting. I had such a peace in these two days, even if the results turned out differently than I hoped. On Friday, Kyle left on the Campus Crusade Spring Break trip to Rome. He was very apprehensive about leaving, but we both felt that he needed to go. It was definitely hard for him to leave, but my mother is in town, and staying with me until he returns. We also changed his cell phone plan, so I can call him with updates. Today, I went back to Memphis for more blood work. My HCG level has risen more, but still not doubled. It went from 150 to 241 which is a 60% increase. This is great news, but I am still borderline on my levels increasing, and there is still a concern of miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy. When your levels slowly increase, this can be a sign of ectopic. As for now, we still don't have a definitive answer which can be frustrating at times. I will go to Memphis again on Monday for more blood work, and we hope and pray that my levels will have skyrocketed, and there will be no questions. The doctor cannot give us an answer until I am six weeks. At this point, I am too early for anything to show up on an ultrasound, and an ultrasound is the only way to rule out ectopic. We are still very hopeful that the Lord will bring this baby to full term, but at the same time we are facing the concerns of the pregnancy. Even if the Lord has a different plan, we can still rejoice in this trial too, knowing that He has purposed good for us, He holds us in the palm of His hand, and He will sustain us through this circumstance as well. As we wait, we trust that the Lord is working this out for His glory and our good. I share all of this with you because I know you too have been praying for us. We have certainly been comforted by your many prayers for us, and would ask that you continue to pray. Please join us in praying for my levels to increase, and that this pregnancy would result in a healthy baby. I will end with the lyrics to one of my favorite songs by Third Day. As I was taking a shower on Wednesday night after a very long day, the Lord placed this song upon my heart. Jesus is so good to me, He does heal my broken heart, and He is my Father in Heaven.

"You Are So Good To Me"

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

And I will sing again

You are so good to me

You heal my broken heart

You are my Father in Heaven

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

You ride upon the clouds

You lead me to the truth

You are the Spirit inside me

You are my strong melody, yeah

You are my dancing rhythm

You are my perfect rhyme

And I will sing of You forever

You poured out all Your blood

You died upon the cross

You are my Jesus who loves me

You are my Father in Heaven

You are the Spirit inside me

You are my Jesus who loves me

Even though we are still uncertain of the outcome of the pregnancy, I am still going to post these pictures so you can also share in our joy.

I told Kyle by surprising him with balloons,

and an Ole Miss gown and booties!

Telling Mrs. Cyndi and Alexis the news

I gave pink and blue M&M's

to all the girls I disciple.