Which Direction are You Running?

At the beginning of 2010, I began reading two books. One is Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller that I am reading with three of the girls I disciple within Crusade. The other book is The Blessings of Brokenness by Charles Stanley. I picked this one up because the title seemed appropriate for my life at the time. I only have a chapter left in each book, and I definitely intend to post about both of them separately when I am finished. However, in my reading this week both of the chapters were about the story of Jonah. While these two books are very different, these specific chapters were so similar, and I know the Lord was trying to teach me something more about this story of a man being swallowed by a big fish! I do not think this was merely coincidental! You might want to refresh your mind by reading the book of Jonah again. It is just four short chapters. I will give you a brief summary though (well maybe not so brief)! The story begins by the Lord commanding Jonah to go to the city of Nineveh, and tell the people of their wickedness. God was basically asking Jonah to go to his enemies and preach repentance to them. Jonah would have rather died than see his enemies repent and receive the mercy of God. So, he directly disobeyed the Lord and fled to Tarshish. While he was out to see on his way to Tarshish, God sent a fierce storm that threatened to sink the ship. All the sailors cast lots to see who brought this storm upon them, and the lot fell on Jonah. The sailors threw Jonah into the sea, and the Lord provided a fish to save Jonah by swallowing him. While in the fish, Jonah finally begins to understand the grace of God (in his head but not his heart). The Lord commanded the fish to vomit Jonah onto dry land, and then God commanded him a second time to go to Nineveh. This time Jonah obeyed, and as he began to preach, the Ninevites began to repent. Their response caused Jonah to become very angry with God, and he asked God to kill him. Jonah went out of the city, and the Lord provided for Jonah by giving him a plant that brought him shade over his head. When the sun rose, God appointed the plant to die. Once again Jonah was too angry to live. When God asked him if his anger was warranted Jonah said that he was "angry enough to die." These are Jonah's final words to the Lord as far as we know, but the Lord confronts Jonah on his anger. God confronts Jonah on the fact that he was more concerned about his sunburn, than the thousand of people in the city of Nineveh that did not know the Lord. "This story of Jonah is not limited to history, of course. It is a story that happens again and again." It is a story about YOU and a story about ME!

And let me tell you why! What was God trying to do in Jonah's life? He was trying to break Jonah of his pride and stubborn self-will, and remove the idols in his life. What was Jonah's response? Rebellion. He RAN away from the Lord. Why did Jonah run? Keller said, "The answer is, again, idolatry, but of a very complex kind. Jonah had a personal idol. He wanted ministry success more than he wanted to obey God. Also, Jonah was shaped by a cultural idol. He put the national interests of Israel over obedience to God and the spiritual good of the Ninevites. Finally, Jonah had a religious idol, simple moral self-righteousness. He felt superior to the wicked, pagan Ninevites. He didn't want to see them saved. Jonah's cultural and personal idols had melded into a toxic compound that was completely hidden from him. It led him to rebel against the very God he was so proud of serving." Stanley said, "We each have times when we don't want to give up our way, don't want to yield, don't want to have our wills broken by God...Jonah did not want to do what God wanted him to do, and he attempted to run away and hide from God. This tactic didn't work for Jonah. Neither does it work in our lives." However, we often still run, and seek a means of escape because we do not want to experience brokenness. We would rather resist God, and choose to do things our own way. Stanley calls this prideful rebellion, and rebellion never brings happiness. "Those who rebel against God's call to specific service never find true satisfaction or a feeling of fulfillment in the lives they choose for themselves...Rebellion, if continued, ultimately causes us to miss out on the blessing God desires for us. It keeps us from receiving the fullness of what God has planned for us."

The question becomes are we going to run FROM God or TO God? Are we going to protest against brokenness, or are we going to allow our wills to be broken by God? Oh, how I pray that my heart would willingly allow God to break me so that I don't miss out on the fullness of his blessing.

The Lord has allowed me to walk through an extremely hard time recently, and one that I certainly would not have chosen for myself. There have been many moments where I have wanted to run from God, well more like sprint! I did not want to experience being broken. I have often felt like I deserved something easier or better. Slowly, I am beginning to see that this is better, and there is a blessing and beauty that comes from being broken. I may never know the exact reasons that the Lord has allowed this hard experience in my life. But, I do know that there is purpose in being broken--God wants to bring about my best. Stanley says, "God moves in our lives because he loves us too much to see us continue in our sin, remain in a lukewarm spiritual state, or go unfulfilled in his purposes for our lives. God loves us too much to see us remain as we are." Lord, thank you for loving me with an immense amount of love, and thank you for not allowing me to remain the same. Help me to always run to you and embrace the trials of this life, so that I don't miss out on the blessings of brokenness--experiencing the fullness of Your love, wisdom, power, strength, and goodness.