Back in the Ring

I was out of town for ten days straight, and finally made it back to Oxford on Monday! Oh my, it feels so good to be home! Most of the week, I have been back and forth from Oxford to Memphis...visiting the doctor, of course! This morning we had our third IUI. To be quite honest with you, I have zero confidence in this treatment. Maybe this is just a way of me preparing myself for the worst, or the knowledge of how much money we have spent, but I have very little faith left. Over the past two weeks, my sister and her husband were waiting to find out if their newborn baby boy had cystic fibrosis. Two of his blood tests came back abnormal, therefore, he had to have a sweat test done. At the point of finding all of this out, I became very frustrated with the Lord. My family has been through one trial after another, and I reached the point of "enough is enough." We rejoice that Madden does not have CF, and I am thankful to the Lord for sparing him of this disease. While these trials have brought much depth to our relationship with the Lord and each other, you still reach a point where you are tired of the battle, and ready to step out of the rink. I told Kyle today that I feel like that game at the arcade where the groundhogs pop up and then get bopped on the head, except I feel like I cannot even peep my head out without getting hit! Yes, I am exhausted! Thankfully, the Lord knew what he was doing when he gave me Kyle, because he is Mr. Positivity! This is a quality that I am incredibly grateful for because he definitely keeps me in line, points me to what is true, and keeps me focused on the Lord. As we were riding to the clinic today, All We Need by Charlie Hall was playing. The verse says, "We have all we need in You, And all we need is You, All we need is You." Kyle was quick to confess that the Lord is really all we need. We deeply desire a child, but we do not need a child. Our deepest satisfaction comes from knowing, loving, and serving the Lord. What a sweet reminder from my precious husband. Oh how blessed I am to have him beside me as we walk through this difficult journey.

As for the actual procedure, everything progressed according to plan. My body responded well to the medication, however, it appears I only had one follicle that was the best this time. The nurse said they would much rather have quality over quantity. There may be two others that became large enough, but they are confident in the one. They were also very positive, because my lining was much thicker this time, compared to last. If it could just all be right at once! There were a few things that could have been better, but we are trying to remain positive. We must continue to trust that the Lord's will for our lives is being purposed, and He has the best plan for us. As for now, we wait. It will be at least two weeks before we know anything. Please be praying for us.

These are the same prayer requests that I posted last round, and I ask that you would again pray for these specific things.

1. Pray for REST. Rest in the Lord, and physical rest. I tend to be a go getter, so to take it easy for two weeks is kind of difficult for me. Pray that I would get the proper rest that my body needs.

2. Pray for TRUST. It is really easy to begin to doubt the things of the Lord that you have always known to be true when you are walking through painful trials. Pray that we would continue to trust in His sovereign will for our lives; that He is in control, and He is doing what is best for us.

3. Pray for PEACE. Waiting for an answer for two weeks can be difficult. Pray that this would be a time filled with peace, and free of anxiety.

4. Pray for PROTECTION. It is also easy for your mind to go a thousand different places when you are experiencing infertility. Pray that my mind would be protected, and as my friend said, that my mind would stay in the moment.

As I was talking to my sister today, I expressed to her that I was almost out of words to pray. I was encouraged by her reminding me that the Spirit is constantly interceding for us. I am grateful for that, especially in my moments of weakness. I am also extremely grateful that you are interceding to the Father on our behalf. You cannot even begin to imagine how thankful we are for your prayers for us. These prayers have definitely carried us through the hard days, and we cannot thank you enough. We are grateful for each of you, and we thank you for loving us and supporting us as we step back in the ring! THANK YOU!