Today was definitely "one of those days." I feel like so many people paint such a pretty picture of pregnancy (including myself), but you never really hear about the not so fun parts of it. So here goes it! I hope that by sharing with you I will be able to just get some things off my chest!
It all started last night when it took me about an hour to fall asleep. I simply could not get comfortable and sweet precious Hardy was kicking away. It had been a long day and I was exhausted, so all I really wanted was some sleep. I did finally fall asleep, but after only about 5 hours I awoke with heartburn and never could get back to sleep. And this was how my day started! I had to be up early anyways because we had our 30 week doctors appointment today in Tupelo. I hopped in the shower, and upon getting out noticed new stretch marks that had developed on my back, and even one on my butt! As if things could not get worse, I ironed my shirt and as I proceeded to put it on, it would not button. I am actually quite shocked that I did not cry at this point, but somehow I held it together. I know those of you who are pregnant or have been pregnant can totally relate to my morning. Most of you know our story, and that it took us 18 months to conceive. I always said, "well if I ever get pregnant, I certainly will not care if I throw up every day, have stretch marks everywhere, or my baby is a week late." Boy am I eating those words now! In the grand scheme of things, I would 100 times over take tons of stretch marks for this sweet baby the Lord has given to us. These were just the emotions I experienced today. I never really understood all that a woman goes through in pregnancy until now, and it sure is not all peaches and cream! So there is my not so pretty picture of being pregnant! Hope I did not scare too many of you...I am sure this will all be forgotten when I am holding that sweet baby in my arms!
We did receive an excellent report from the doctor today, and we have great reason to rejoice. Hardy is very healthy, in fact he currently weighs 3 pounds and 13 ounces. This puts him in the 65th percentile which means he will probably weigh somewhere between 7 and 8 pounds at birth. We also got to hear the heartbeat and it was really strong...149 bpm. The funniest part was that he has a really long foot and big toe. He definitely got that from Kyle. It was so cute to see on the screen, and we got a great picture of it. It is such a relief and blessing to know that our little man is growing and healthy!
On a somewhat related note, I experienced a wide range of emotions over the last few days. Well, what pregnant women doesn't?!? Over the course of the week, I found out that two dear friends are expecting their second child which was very exciting news. At the same time though I found out that another dear friend did not conceive after receiving fertility treatment. As I pondered upon all of this, the Lord brought this verse to my mind. "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15 My heart was definitely filled with joy for these two friends who are pregnant, but at the same time my heart was completely broken for the friend who is not. I hurt so deeply for her because I can relate on every level the emotion she is experiencing. The verse I just mentioned became very real to me the past few days, but I confess it is not always easy to practice. To be very real and honest with you, it was easier to weep for the one friend than to rejoice for the other two which clearly reveals the sinful nature of my heart. It goes back to what I have said several times before, "it's just not fair." And once again, the Lord is teaching me that it was not fair for Jesus to suffer on the cross and bear the weight of my sins, but He did so that I could have a personal relationship with the Father and when He looks upon me He sees a slate that has been washed white as snow! One would think that I would eventually get this lesson, but I think it will take me a lifetime to fully grasp how deep the Fathers love for me is in that He would sacrifice His only son. I pray that not a day goes by where I take this sacrifice for granted. I also pray that I learn to truly rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
Goodness, this post sure has been one filled with a little rambling. You just got a good glimpse into all the thoughts that go through my head in a day! It was not a good morning, but when I think about all that is going on around the world, my day was very easy compared to so many others. Even still though, the Lord cares deeply about ALL the details of my life. This verse he brought to my mind tonight was "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." My flesh is so weak, and day after day I fail. But praise be to Him, because His power is perfected in my weakness! What a great and mighty God we serve! If you had "one of those days" too I pray that you will revel in His grace tomorrow, and know that His power rest upon you! As always, thanks for allowing me to share my heart!
