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Friday, April 30, 2010

Still Waiting and Praising...

A week ago, I had thought I would be posting about the next round of fertility treatment. Last week I was quite anxious all week, and had to motivate myself to even face another round. I definitely want to keep trying, but there is also a part of me that is fearful of what the future could hold. Last Friday, I found out it would be another month before we would start treatment. This was a complete bummer, and I was pretty sad that afternoon. I am thankful for the doctors being cautious though. If I had started another round of treatment this month, my chance of miscarrying again would have been pretty high. But, it is really not fun to have to wait another month. So, this week I have really done some wrestling with the Lord. I have cried often, and cried out to Him from the depth of my being! There are days that I am very content with life as it is now, and then there are days that I am so frustrated and almost angry with the Lord. I often think Lord, why me? It is like I have to constantly preach the scriptures to myself, because if I don't my mind immediately wonders to what is not true. But what is true, is that the Lord deeply loves me, cares about me immensely, and has a good and perfect plan for our family. It is just the waiting part that I have really struggled with this week. I am truly learning what it looks like to wait, and to trust Him moment by moment. If we could just fast forward about five years, and know what our family would look like, then the waiting would be pretty easy. But, I know that would require no faith, nor entail a refinement of our faith; both things that I am very thankful He is working out in our lives. So, I still wait! All this to say, please keep praying for us. I am so thankful for the years of marriage we had before this trial, because that firm foundation has definitely sustained us. However, it is getting really tough, and our hearts deeply long for a child. As I was thinking about our situation the other morning this praise song came to my mind. I have heard it and sung it 1,000 times, but in this moment the words really struck me.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle
of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming
for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth

Yes, I can see a light that is coming
for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You,
still I will praise You

The following paragraph was written by another women that faced infertility, and what she wrote describes my heart too! "I am in the midst of a storm right now, but I do not have to fear. His perfect love surrounds me and will never let go. In the good times and in the bad, He never fails me. He is always carrying me. This is just a season in our lives. It seems like forever right now, but someday we will be on the other side infertility. Until then, I choose to praise Him. I choose to proclaim that He is good, He is sovereign, and He never lets go!"

Double Decker

Double Decker Festival is one of my favorite events in Oxford, and I have not been in town to attend since 2006. So needless to say, I was super EXCITED this year! It ended up being one of the best weekends I have had in Oxford in quite some time. It was just complete fun all weekend long. A sweet friend of mine, Marian, flew in from Houston, and I really enjoyed having her in Oxford. Her faith is so authentic, and I am always encouraged after spending time with her. We pretty much had a slumber party at Wellsgate all weekend. Stayed up way too late talking or playing Apples to Apples, and ate way too much food! Saturday afternoon we got to spend some time on the back porch, watching the sunset, and singing hymns. It was a sweet time, and I could feel the presence of the Lord with us. We kicked off Sunday morning with breakfast at Bottle Tree, and then made a few laps around the square viewing all the art work. Oh how I love Oxford, MS! Seriously, you should be jealous!

Kelsey, Marian, Amy

Marian and Whitney
Me and Kitty
Me, Carmen Rae, Kitty, Marian
Kitty, Marian, Me, Morgan, Whitney,
Kailey, Carmen Rae, Emily

The Coolest Chic I Know...


CARMEN RAE!! Carmen Rae is a senior at Ole Miss, and will be joining staff with Campus Crusade this fall, and I am earnestly praying that she will be placed at Ole Miss! Over the past year, I have come to know C Rae extremely well, and she has become a very dear friend to me! One of the things I love about C Rae is that she is completely real and transparent. Whenever I ask her anything, she always shoots straight with me, and I love that too! She is also the definition of loyal. She would do anything for anybody! Simply put, she is the coolest chic I know! Last Thursday night, we celebrated her 22nd birthday! I have a feeling the Lord has some big things in store for her this year, and it kicked off the other day in the student union on campus. Make sure to watch the video below. Carmen Rae designed this dance, and recruited the students to participate. It is AWESOME! Much love to you Carmen Rae, and I am so thankful for our friendship!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

YaYa's

Living in small town MS is always an adventure! When one hears of a new place coming to town, you wait with much expectation for it to open. You may even occasionally drive by, to see how the place is coming along. Last Tuesday, YaYa's opened its doors in Oxford! Of course, Kyle and I attended this opening, and we have now become regulars at this heavenly little dive! It is a really fun experience, because you get to fill your cup up, and you get to pick the toppings. The choices are endless, and the yogurt is delicious. I here these yogurt shops are the new thing in the big city, but this was my first experience, and I am quite the fan. On your next visit to Oxford, make sure to stop in to YaYa's for a treat!





As you can see, we all
loved the yogurt!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Love to My Seniors!

Only 2 weeks of school remain, and we have been quite busy lately with wrapping up the semester. This is always a hard time of the year for me because, while I rejoice over all the Lord has done throughout the year, I am oh so sad to see the senior class graduate. And this one I am especially sad about...tears come to my eyes just thinking about these girls graduating. On Sunday night, the Crusade staff women hosted a dinner to honor our senior girls, and their dedication to the ministry. I enjoyed this evening so much, and being able to spend time in fellowship with these girls before graduation was a huge delight. Three of these women I have discipled throughout their college years. It has been an incredible joy to mentor these girls, and grow in the faith with them. I can definitely say I have benefitted from these relationships as much as them if not more, and these are friendships that I will treasure for years to come. Chelsea, Christie, and Morgan...you are my heart!!! Christie will be interning with Crusade next year, so I am thrilled to say that she will be my co-worker! This is one of my first disciples to intern, and I am so excited! Please pray for her as she will be raising support this summer to return in the fall. Chelsea will most likely be teaching in Oxford or Memphis. I am definitely excited that she will still be around next year. Please pray that the Lord would bless her with a job soon. Morgan has applied to graduate school, and is waiting patiently to hear back. She desires to be a child life specialist, and I definitely believe the Lord has gifted her for just that. Please pray that the Lord would clearly reveal His will to her, and that she would continue to trust in Him as she waits. Serving in full-time ministry is by far a huge blessing, and I am so thankful that the Lord has given me the opportunity to minister to these young women. I will definitely miss having them around, but I know the Lord is going to do mighty things through each of them as they continue on in their faith! Thanks to all of you who make it possible for me to be a part of this amazing ministry!

Chelsea, Callie, Me, Hallie, Morgan, & Ellen
Missy, Christie, Meg, Carmen Rae, & Hart

A Taste of the Blues

On Saturday night, we gathered up some friends and headed over to Clarksdale for the Juke Joint Festival. Since the blues originated in the Delta, there is no better place to go to listen to the blues. Sixteen bars participated in the festival, with tons of musicians playing at each bar. It only cost $10 to get in, and you walk from bar to bar listening to the music as long as you like. It was definitely a good time, and these musicians are extremely talented!

Me, Missy, Chelsea, Morgan,
DeAnna, and Callie
Kyle and Me
Kyle, Craig, Jeff, Thomas, and Cason
Amy and Missy

Friday, April 16, 2010

Counterfeit Gods

Not sure of the idols that exist in you life? Well, I was not either until I read Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller. This book truly caused me to evaluate my heart, and see what idols exist within it. At the beginning of each chapter I would think, "oh, surely that is not an idol in my life." Then, upon finishing the chapter I would say, "that is definitely an idol in my life." I could write paragraph after paragraph about what the Lord has taught me through reading this book. Instead, I will give you a brief summary, and let you check it out for yourself. It is a very worth your while read! Keller defines an idol as, "Anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give you." Keller said, "If anything becomes more fundamental than God to your happiness, meaning in life, and identity, then it is an idol. In the first few chapters, Keller discusses what he calls "personal idols": love, money, success, and power. Then, he examines the idols in our life that are more hidden, "not the idols of our heart, but of our culture and society." The following quote really struck me. Keller said, "When we are completely immersed in a society of people who consider a particular idolatrous attachment normal, it becomes almost impossible to discern it for what it is." There is an incredible amount of truth to this statement. Many things in our society today are definitely idols in our lives, but they have become such a norm that we cannot even see it! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, because I began to see that there are many idols that exist in our lives, whether personal or cultural. However, if we do not truly search our hearts, and look below the surface, we will not see them. We must peel back the layers, and see what lies deep within. May we be a people whose hearts truly value God above all, and may He always reign supreme in our lives. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Favorite Quotes:

"If we look to some created thing to give us the meaning, hope, and happiness that only God himself can give, it will eventually fail to deliver and break our hearts."

"If we are deeply moved by the sight of his love for us, it detaches our hearts from other would-be saviors. We stop trying to make others into saviors, because we have a Savior."

"To the degree that you grasp the gospel, money will have no dominion over you. Think on his costly grace until it changes you into a generous people."

"Jesus' love and salvation confers on you a remarkable status--one that money cannot give."

"In any culture in which God is largely absent, sex, money, and politics will fill the vacuum for different people."

"In short, all we are and have is given to us by God. We are not infinite Creators, but finite, dependent creatures."

"The true god of your heart is what your thoughts effortlessly go to when there is nothing else demanding your attention."

"Mature Christians are not people who have completely hit the bedrock. I do not believe that is possible in this life. Rather, they are people who know how to keep drilling and are getting closer and closer."

At Last...

I finally got to meet Mikias!!! On Monday morning, I loaded Annie in the car, and we ventured up to Nashville to meet Laura and the kids. Emmy seemed quite sad to see Annie go, but Annie leaped into the car. I am not sure that she knew where she was headed, but she was glad to be going! My good friend Morgan made the drive with me, and it was very nice to have some company. I was so excited to see Molly Kate and meet Mikias. We met at a park, and when we got out of the car, MK came running to me, and gave me a BIG hug! Got to love those! Mikias kept saying, "Amy!" It was so cute that he knows my name! We enjoyed a quick lunch, and spent some time playing at the park. Mikias is precious, and has the cutest smile. Both of these kids just melt my heart! I wish our visit could have been longer, but we both had to turn around, and drive back home. When we were leaving, MK said, "Can I come home with you?" How precious! I am hoping I can snag the kids for a few days once Miles comes home and my sister has Madden. I am sure she will be needing a break! What I would give for the Cuthbertsons to live closer!





Sunday, April 11, 2010

The Blessings of Brokenness

I finished this book last week, but it has taken me that long to gather my thoughts and summarize them. Overall, I thoroughly benefited from reading The Blessings of Brokenness: Why God Allows Us To Go Through Hard Times, and I know the Lord had a purpose in me reading it. When I made my book list for 2010, I was searching our book shelves and this book just caught my eye. I am so glad I decided to add it to the list. This book has truly spoken to my heart, and definitely changed my perspective on the trial that the Lord is taking us through. If you are walking through any trial in your life right now, I highly encourage you to read this book. Charles Stanley is definitely "old school", but full of wisdom. While this book is very simplistic, it is also very practical and applicable.

What was the perspective change? Stanley says, "He (God) allows brokenness in our lives in order to bring about a blessing. God never breaks us in anger or wrath. Rather, God moves in our lives because he loves us too much to see us continue in our sin, remain in a lukewarm spiritual state, or go unfulfilled in his purposes for our lives. God loves us too much to see us remain as we are." God is not taking me through this trial as a punishment. He is using it as a means to make me more spiritually mature and whole. His love for me is so great that He desires to see me change, grow, and develop. Can I get an AMEN? That is a huge blessing from the Lord! That He would love me so much that He could not see me remain as I am. Thank you Father!

Listed below are a several of my favorite quotes from the book. My hope is that they will be enough of a sampling that you will be encouraged to read the book in its entirety.

"God is in the process of changing what we desire, far more than he is in the process of giving us what we desire."

"Our period of brokenness is not the end, but rather, a passage and a process to a new beginning that is even more glorious."

"His desire and purpose for us is total dependence upon him. Nothing short of complete dependence will suffice."

"When God breaks us, he does so with the purpose of putting us back together again--better than before, and ultimately, so that we might be whole."

"Our role in times of brokenness is to submit not only to what God desires to do in our lives, but also to his timetable."

"When God is at work in our spirits, we must recognize openly that the most valuable facet of our being--truly the eternal facet of our lives--is being strengthened, nourished, and refined."

"It's better to be somebody in God's eyes and nobody in the eyes of the world, than to be somebody in the eyes of the masses and nobody in the eyes of God."

"Brokenness ends when our will is broken and we yield to God in submission."

"Brokenness is the pruning process that God uses in order to produce inner fruit--his very likeness."

"Brokenness brings us to the place where we say, 'All that matters is God and his presence in my life."

In the final chapter Stanley wrote about five great blessings that come from brokenness. Each of these were very encouraging to me, so I thought I would share them with you.

1. The Blessing of Understanding God Better: we truly begin to understand the nature of God
2. The Blessing of Understanding Ourselves Better: we come to a much deeper understanding of ourselves
3. The Blessing of Increased Compassion for Others: we begin to look at other people differently
4. The Blessing of a Greater Zest for Life: we find we have a greater appreciation for all of God's gifts to us
5. The Blessing of an Increased Awareness of God's Presence: brokenness makes us more sensitive to his presence

What immense blessings that flow from brokenness! Praise be to God that He sees fit to break us and refine us in order to bring about such great blessings!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Blueberry Pound Cake

When I was a little girl this was the first cake I ever baked, and it was with my dear friend Katie. I am positive that it is what inspired my love for baking, and why I have kept baking over the years. My precious hair stylist gave me 2 pints of fresh blueberries last week, and I knew exactly what I was going to do with them...make a blueberry pound cake! I will be enjoying a slice tomorrow morning with the staff women of Campus Crusade. Definitely give this delicious one a try!

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup butter, softened
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 cups flour, divided
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 pint fresh blueberries or
2 cups canned blueberries, drained and rinsed

DIRECTIONS:

Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs one at a time and beat until light and fluffy. Add vanilla. Sift 2 cups flour, salt, and baking powder together. Add sifted ingredients to creamed mixture and beat. Dredge berries in remaining flour. Fold berry mixture gently into creamed mixture. Pour mixture into a tube pan which has been buttered and coated with sugar. Bake in preheated 325 degree oven for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Serves 15.

This recipe can be found in Southern Sideboards, a cookbook compiled by the Junior League of Jackson, MS. It is one of my favorites!


What is the Latest?

It has been a few weeks since I posted about our current situation, and several people have asked what is the latest. I decided it was time to give some details. How am I doing you might ask? Let's just say I am persevering by the grace of God! I have good days, and bad days, but at least there is a mix! Most days I am content in the place the Lord has us right now. There are days though that I long to be in the future, and know that we will eventually have a child. I will share a cool story with you that happened last Sunday. I had already left church, but I saw a good friend standing in the hallway, so I ran back inside real quick just to say hello. While I was talking to her she introduced me to her friend that has the cutest blonde hair, blue-eyed boys that appeared really close in age. I asked her and she replied, "Yep, 16 months!" I was not surprised, and said, "well if we ever have a child, I can promise you that we will do nothing to prevent the next one." She just laughed, because that was exactly what had happened to them. She actually went to the same doctor I am seeing in Memphis. The first time she got pregnant, it was a tubal pregnancy. About 6 months later she got pregnant with her first boy, and then the next once came about 7 months after he was born. I was definitely encouraged by her success, and thought it was so sweet of the Lord to give me that moment. Isn't He good to us?!? He does indeed know our needs!

As for now, I am back on the pill. Yes, that is birth control. Strange that they would put you on the pill in order to get you pregnant. The reason is that it induces a cycle, and it is one of the main ways to prevent PCOS. It basically keeps the cyst from growing. After that, I will start the shots again, and go for Round 2. My heart is definitely anxious, and I do have some fears. With PCOS you have a 50% chance of miscarriage, while it is normally 15%. That is a pretty big difference. I believe it is because you produce a poorer quality egg. I definitely fear doing this whole process again, and having another miscarriage. However, I know the Lord will not give me more than I can handle. If that is what He chooses, then I know that it is part of His refining in my life. Without a doubt, I truly feel like I have been through the fire (well, I guess I am still in it). At the same time though, I feel like I have come to know my Savior in a incredibly intimate way. I truly feel like my relationship with Him has been taken to new depths, and it is really sweet. For this reason alone, I give praise to the Father for this trial. He ultimately knows what is best, and I will continue to trust in and rest in His truths.

Thank you for your faithfulness in continuing to pray for us! We are beyond grateful for the love and support you have shown towards us!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Just Curious!?!

SO, I read about this on another blog, and decided I would give it a try too! I would love to know who is out there and who is reading about life with the Coles! I've never done this before, and I am just interested to see whose checking this thing out! Calling everyone from lookers to regular commenters...Give me a holler!

Oh, and how do you like the new design?!?! It was LONG overdue, but I am so tickled it is finally up!

Monday, April 5, 2010

He Has RISEN!





We had a wonderful Easter Sunday as we celebrated the resurrection of our Lord, Jesus Christ! Stephen Taylor delivered the message at Grace Bible, and he spoke on the importance of the resurrection, and why we as believers should rejoice in it. He said, "The cross does not mean anything without the resurrection." He painted a wonderful picture of what life would be like if Christ had not risen, versus the life we have in Christ because He has indeed risen! He said if Christ did not rise, we would have no hope, no security, no identity, no eternal reward, and so on. But, because Christ has risen, we have hope, we have a citizenship in heaven, we have eternal life, we are a child of God and our identity lies in Him, we are forgiven, we are counted as righteous, we are freed from our sin, and we have a Father! There are an abundant amount of reasons to rejoice in the resurrection, and we ought to give thanks to the Lord for both the Cross and the Resurrection!

After hearing this encouraging message, we went to Kyle's grandparents house for a delicious Easter lunch! I definitely enjoyed the eating...probably a little too much! :) All the boys went to watch the Rebels baseball game, while the women did a little reading and napping. I actually ended up watching the game on TV, and was sad to see the Rebels lose! When everyone got back to the house, we heard this chirping noise upstairs. It sounded like a bird, so we sent some of the kids up to see what was making the noise. A baby squirrel had got caught in a mouse trap in a closet. The kids were able to rescue it, and we all sat on the porch watching it after they let it go. I said, "We look like a bunch of MS rednecks out here." Uncle Cliff then said, "We ARE a bunch of MS rednecks!" I had to take some pictures of our new furry friend, because he was really cute!

Dying Easter eggs! We only had 7 because
Kyle's sisters kept eating them!
Guess we will need to buy 2 dozen next year!



My Easter Basket from Kyle...
he gave me a certificate redeemable
for a steam mop! I am so excited!

Kyle's Easter Basket

My Easter happy from Mrs. Cyndi!

Kyle was a little hungry
after watching those Rebels!

Rescuing the squirrel

They captured him in a really
nice hat box.

Releasing our new furry friend!


Hope your Easter was a wonderful, and action-packed as ours!

Extreme Makeover: Steak Edition

When the Extreme Makeover episode aired on television, Kyle and all of our students were in Italy for Spring Break. Many wanted to watch it, so my Dad mailed me a DVD, and we had a viewing party at our house. One of the student's uncle owns the Big Texan in Amarillo, Texas. He shipped us four 72 ounce steaks, and we had Extreme Makeover: Steak Edition. I have never seen so much meat in my life, and there are tons of people who have eaten this steak by themselves. I think the world record was 8 minutes and 52 seconds! It was a fun evening, but I have never had so many people in my house at once! There were people lining the stairs just to watch the show! I guess a man will never turn down a good steak, and good television!

This is what a 72 oz. steak looks like!
Can you imagine eating that?!?

A 72 oz. steak chopped up!

Lots of people watching
Extreme Makeover Hattiesburg!



Saturday, April 3, 2010

I Need a Savior

"And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!" And they spit on him and took the reed and struck him on the head. And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the robe and put his own clothes on him and led him away to crucify him." Matthew 27:28-31

As we celebrate Easter this weekend, we can often rush through it just like any other holiday. We get wrapped up in what we are going to wear to the Easter service, did we get everything for the Easter basket, or do we have everything for Easter lunch. Our minds can easily become focused on other things, and we do not take the time to reflect upon why we even celebrate Easter. Since yesterday was Good Friday, this morning I took some time to reflect upon the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, his death on the cross, and his burial. I read through chapter 19 of the book of John and chapter 27 of the book of Matthew. As I read through the scriptures my mind and my heart were instantly focused upon Jesus and the cross. Every time I read this story my first thought is "He did it for me!" At that very moment, Jesus took upon the wrath of God, and He did it for me. He took upon the sins of the world - mine and yours - so that we could be counted as righteous in the eyes of the Lord. It reminds me of the song "In Christ Alone". One line says, "Till on that cross as Jesus died, The wrath of God was satisfied - For every sin on Him was laid; Here in the death of Christ I live." Because of Jesus' death on the cross, we have eternal life! We have a relationship with our Father! This gives us reason to rejoice, and celebrate Easter. My prayer for you is that at some point this weekend, you would have time to reflect upon the death and resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ. May our hearts be eternally grateful for His sacrifice, and the blood that was shed so that we might have eternal life!

"When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, 'It is finished,' and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit." John 19:30



In thinking about Good Friday, all I could think about is how much I need a Savior. This song immediately came to my mind. Think about the words as you watch this video. Hope you enjoy it.

And, one more thing.... click here to read an excellent post about Good Friday. This was written by a friend of mine who works for Going Beyond Ministries.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Oxford in the Spring


I absolutely LOVE Oxford in the Spring! It is almost like the town comes alive after the long winter, well long for us Southerners. There are many things I love about the Spring in Oxford: hanging out in The Grove, baseball season, sitting on the balcony at Square Books, strolls around the Square, Double Decker (my favorite weekend), the Farmers Market, and last but not least, the beautiful flowers! There are flowers blooming everywhere, and they always seem to brighten my day! I tried to capture the beauty in a few pictures, but you really just have to see it in person. So, come spend the day with me in Oxford, and you can take in the beauty!




Only in Mississippi

On Wednesday night we went on a double date with our dear friends the Daniels. We all were craving catfish, but had the hardest time finding a place that served catfish, and was open on Wednesday night. Most are open Thursday through Sunday. After calling about eight different places, we found the Catfish Hut! We jumped in the car, and headed over to Enid, MS. We knew this place was definitely going to be a local dive, because it was located on Enid Dam Road. After calling for directions twice, we landed upon the hut! Just a little disclaimer here: we are from Oxford, MS not NYC. However, it was like city meets country at this restaurant. Everyone in the place took a look at us, and our waitress said, "Ya'll not from around here?" We had a GREAT time, laughed a lot, and the catfish was pretty good...nothing on Old Taylor though. If you are ever near Enid, you might just want to catch a bite to eat at the Catfish Hut!

Missy and Me

Kyle and Craig

The Southern Alphabet
My favorite was K - Kin-person:
What's related to ya
and ya can't help it.

Kyle and Me

Missy and Craig

Ole Miss apron that the waitress
informed me I should buy!